Coping with vampirism through my iPod

[Melancholy Shade]

So...

Remember that time when I said Charlie and I are best friends now? No? Me either. Know why? It's not going to happen. Ever. As soon as we get to the point where we can be civil with one another, we have another issue to deal with.

Ella is staying with him and Claire now because I begged and pleaded. Now, however, Charlie is getting all hot and bothered because she smells like a vampire...well my brother to be more exact. I think that the fact that it's my brother may piss him off more, but whatever. Once again, I'm going to have to prove that not all vampires are as bad as he believes they are. ...at least I'm not. And I refuse to let my brother be like me.

This is such a mess.

Here's to convincing werewolves to trusting vampires... again.

Yippee.

[Melancholy Shade]

So...

Rowen's back in town. Thank God. She hadn't been around for almost a week and it freaked me out a bit. But she's back now, which is good because I'm going to need a lot of help planning this wedding thing. ...like A LOT of help because I don't know what the hell to do.

Plus, I've got too many other things to do. Charlie is threatening to kick Ella out of the house if she and Jimmy don't stop hanging out, but they can't seem to stay away. Which means I'll have to step in and save the day.

As if Charlie and I never had problems before.

Joy.

[Melancholy Shade]

So...

I ran into Joel today. It wasn't a complete disaster, but it wasn't great either. Things are just so awkward between us. And forced. And stilted. But we got through it.

I just wish he understood what happened to us. I didn't cheat. I saved his life.

...if only he could see it that way.

.......but he won't.

...........c'est la vie. Right?

Right.

[Melancholy Shade]

So...

I saw Leslie. She's ... well I wouldn't say she's doing well. I think she's more paranoid than anything. She's just afraid of people leaving.

To be fair, I did move out of the apartment, but that doesn't mean I'm gone forever. She would see that better, though, if I spent more time with her. I need to make an effort more often. She's one of my best friends here, you know?

I feel bad for Flynn, but he's just going to have to deal with it because I'm not losing a friend over the fact that she is a werewolf. It's not right.

[Melancholy Shade]

So...

Christmas is coming. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. It'll be my first Christmas with out my mom or sisters. Christmas was always such a big deal. Christmas Eve, we'd bake cookies all day long, drink tons of hot chocolate, and spend our evening at the movie theater. Then, the next morning, we would exchange gifts and cook and eat a ton of food --

But, I'll never have that again. At least I still have Jimmy. He and I can try to keep as much of that tradition as possible, but it won't be the same. Maybe we should just make up new traditions with Flynn, Rowen and Ella.

I just don't know...

[Melancholy Shade]

So...

Today was not on my list of good days. Not so much for me, but definitely for my little brother. I know he gets bored in class, but skipping school was out of the question. Not that I have room to talk since I quit school, but I have a job... rather a daily job and he doesn't. But still, today could have gone completely different if he and Ella had only stayed in school.

Flynn and I found Jimmy with Ella in the forest. Idiot. He knows that he isn't supposed to be around her, but he won't listen. And Charlie's going to kick Ella out and then she'll be homeless because she definitely can't stay with us at home. Four vampires + one human is not a safe or good idea.

Anyway, Jimmy got mad and stormed off, pulling Ella behind her. And, forgetting how strong he was, he broke her hand bad enough that she needed surgery. I know he didn't mean to, but her hand is still broken. And now, we have to come up with a lie about how she broke her hand because claiming that a vampire did it was not a good answer. Idiot.

And then, as if all this wasn't enough, he broke up with the poor girl so he couldn't hurt her again.

The only good thing that came out of this was Jimmy getting a reality check. Being a vampire does not make you a super hero. Nor is it the best decision he ever made. This isn't a game. He sees that now.

At least I hope he does...

[Melancholy Shade]

So...

I went home today from work and found Flynn baking cupcakes. I have no idea why he was doing this. He said he was bored, which I can understand. But that's a lot of food that no body here will eat. Even if I could eat one, I don't think I'd eat one though. He didn't look like he knew what he was doing. It was cute though. Even if he did make a huge mess that got worse after our food fight, but whatever. It was fun.

[Melancholy Shade]

So...

Funny story. I was jogging last night and got confused for Addi. It's kind of understandable. It's weird how similar we look, especially in the dark. And I guess I look like her sister too. Having never met her, I don't know how true it is, but people tell me I do a lot. Maybe it is true. I don't know. I just feel like I'm rambling now, so I'm going to stop and move on with my life.

[Melancholy Shade]

So...

The holiday season is officially over. Thank god. I can't think of a more depressing time in my life. Seriously. It's just a nice reminder that life will never be the same. No Christmas exchange with my family. No traditional chilli and coco afterwards. No staying up with my mom and pretending to be Santa so Gabby will still believe. No spending New Years Eve watching movies until we all pass out in the living room and then continuing when we wake up. I guess I could do those things now, but it's not the same.

It just reminds me that I'll never have my family back again.

I know. I'm sulking. I need to get over it and move on. I'm just not sure that I can move on... not yet anyway.

I'm gonna stop whining now. I have Row and Flynn. I still have Jimmy too. That should be enough for me. No. It HAS to be enough for me.