Post by Anne May Leaser on Feb 8, 2011 18:52:16 GMT -4
Dear Journal,
This is so cliche.. A journal has never been a thing for me. I’ve always made fun of it, I mean, people writing down their thoughts in a little book. But now, after all that’s happened and all that is to come, I’ve realized it may be a good idea. Especially if things turn out in the way I think they will. Years from now, a few at least, maybe more, I may become...immortal. This isn’t something I necessarily want, just was I feel is going to have to happen at some point. Hopefully this all stays secret. Of course it will, I’ll make sure of it.
Anyways, I guess this is all so when so much time has passed by that I can’t remember, I’ll be able to read about this. All of this beauty, fear, sadness, and love. The things that I call my life. Where should I start?
When I was six my father disappeared. The next morning, my mom was gone, too. Tragedy at such a young age is bound to be followed by more of the same, right? Sort of. Eventually, I landed in a foster home in Forks, Washington. A little nothing of a town. I’ve lived there since I was 8. Honestly, I never minded it. I love my foster parents. We’ve spoken of adoption before, but to me its unnecessary money. They will always be my parents. They’ve loved me and taken care of me for so long, how couldn't I see them as such? None-the-less, I will always love them.
Life had been boring. So boring that even the land knew that we needed excitement, in my view at least. Things started to get...strange to say the least. New people moved to Forks, and not just a few. It started with the Cullen’s and then just a ton of similar-looking people moved into town. Those topaz eyes and pale skin. Not to mention how cold they are, and that pained expression I’ve seen on a few.I’d always been a conspirator and I was absolutely determined to figure it all out.
That was when I met Shane. He took me out on dates, treated me like a woman, told me he loved me...all with those eyes. And finally, he spilled his secret. Vampires. Vampires had moved in to Forks. Believe me, I was struck-horrified. That never changed my feelings for Shane, though. It didn’t matter to me, honestly. Until he left.
He took my heart with me. As a pitiful 16 year old, I felt as though my life had been ruined. I was determined to hate every one of the vampires. I didn’t go out much, I lost some friends, gained a few, all in all life just continued. I had trouble surpressing those feelings of immense hatred...that was until life swept me back into a pit of surprise.
This is where things get important, where detail is my friend. I was 17, a few months after my birthday. I was at a coffee shop in town, my favorite. I wanted to work on homework, away from the pressures of home, so that was where I went. I got a coffee and went to take it back to my table before grabbing my pastry. But I never made it back to my table. I tripped over a bump in the rug, breaking the glass and slicing my hand. This could only happen to me.
I didn’t just lay there bleeding, of course. He came to my rescue. The doctor who just happened to be getting away from the office for the day. Him with his gorgeous face and curly hair. Don’t forget those eyes, those topaz eyes.
I wanted to hate him. I did everything I could to hate him. But as he fixed up my hand, offered me his coffee and made small talk I simply couldn’t do it. We hit it off, seriously.
I fell in love with him. But this was different. So different. Dr. Eleazar Brun. I know that I can never love anyone as I have loved him. I will never stop loving him. Hopefully I will also never have a reason to try. We had a few good months, but other then him, my life was getting kind of boring. So, I made the worst mistake of my life. I left.
To California with out a word. I had never done anything bad before. I’ve always been a good kid, never drank, never done drugs, never skipped school. So I knew this was it. I wanted to become an actress so where better to go?
For a while, I loved it. Things were perfect, until I noticed the pain deep in my chest. I could never shake the feeling of missing some thing, some one. I stayed for a month before I simply could not longer stand it. So, I went home.
I hadn’t a clue where to go and I wasn’t ready to face my parents yet. That would just be too hard. So, I went to the only place I could think of. Eleazar’s house.
Seeing him the way he was had killed my heart. I had done wrong, I had hurt him. I was...evil. I couldn’t bear it. There was a part of my that didn’t want him to forgive me. I didn’t want him to love me. I wanted him to have better. But he didn’t. He forgave me, something I could never make up. Since then, its been a rebuilding experience. Putting the pieces of our relationship back together.
As soon as things were okay, he invited me to France. Did I forget to mention that he’s French? The most beautiful fact in the world. A few days now and we will be on that plane together, on our way to France. I can’t wait. This will be the best experience. I can not wait.
But, something happened. Something good. We had been discussing things for a while. Taking our relationship to the next level was something we both wanted. But he kept telling me about the dangers. I was afraid it wasn’t going to happen. The opportunity had presented itself. My parents are gone for a few days. Not that they needed to be gone, it just would make things better, in my mind.
To my surprise, after he said no, he left for a while to do a few things and came back smiling. Those words... “I’m ready if you’re ready”. They will never leave my mind. Of course, things went well. Fantastically well.
This all happened, well, yesterday. I still can’t believe it. It has been one of the best things that has happened to me. Of course, I’m bruised and very sore, but I’m playing like no big deal. It really isn’t. I can handle being sore. I don’t mind it too much. And I don’t want to worry him, that would be horrible.
So where do I stand now? I have the best boyfriend in the world. I’m 18 and about to graduate. In less then a week, I’m being taken to France. All that depression that plagued my life is gone. I’m filled with happiness, joy, love...I can’t even begin to explain.
I guess that’s all my story for now. I just wish that I could get inside his head. Get to what he’s thinking. Learn his secrets. I’ll work on that. I’ll write more soon. I’m sure more will happen. My life has only just begun.
Yours Truly,
Anne
-OOC: I'll have to re-read this later, and edit what is bad. haha My eyes hurt-
This is so cliche.. A journal has never been a thing for me. I’ve always made fun of it, I mean, people writing down their thoughts in a little book. But now, after all that’s happened and all that is to come, I’ve realized it may be a good idea. Especially if things turn out in the way I think they will. Years from now, a few at least, maybe more, I may become...immortal. This isn’t something I necessarily want, just was I feel is going to have to happen at some point. Hopefully this all stays secret. Of course it will, I’ll make sure of it.
Anyways, I guess this is all so when so much time has passed by that I can’t remember, I’ll be able to read about this. All of this beauty, fear, sadness, and love. The things that I call my life. Where should I start?
When I was six my father disappeared. The next morning, my mom was gone, too. Tragedy at such a young age is bound to be followed by more of the same, right? Sort of. Eventually, I landed in a foster home in Forks, Washington. A little nothing of a town. I’ve lived there since I was 8. Honestly, I never minded it. I love my foster parents. We’ve spoken of adoption before, but to me its unnecessary money. They will always be my parents. They’ve loved me and taken care of me for so long, how couldn't I see them as such? None-the-less, I will always love them.
Life had been boring. So boring that even the land knew that we needed excitement, in my view at least. Things started to get...strange to say the least. New people moved to Forks, and not just a few. It started with the Cullen’s and then just a ton of similar-looking people moved into town. Those topaz eyes and pale skin. Not to mention how cold they are, and that pained expression I’ve seen on a few.I’d always been a conspirator and I was absolutely determined to figure it all out.
That was when I met Shane. He took me out on dates, treated me like a woman, told me he loved me...all with those eyes. And finally, he spilled his secret. Vampires. Vampires had moved in to Forks. Believe me, I was struck-horrified. That never changed my feelings for Shane, though. It didn’t matter to me, honestly. Until he left.
He took my heart with me. As a pitiful 16 year old, I felt as though my life had been ruined. I was determined to hate every one of the vampires. I didn’t go out much, I lost some friends, gained a few, all in all life just continued. I had trouble surpressing those feelings of immense hatred...that was until life swept me back into a pit of surprise.
This is where things get important, where detail is my friend. I was 17, a few months after my birthday. I was at a coffee shop in town, my favorite. I wanted to work on homework, away from the pressures of home, so that was where I went. I got a coffee and went to take it back to my table before grabbing my pastry. But I never made it back to my table. I tripped over a bump in the rug, breaking the glass and slicing my hand. This could only happen to me.
I didn’t just lay there bleeding, of course. He came to my rescue. The doctor who just happened to be getting away from the office for the day. Him with his gorgeous face and curly hair. Don’t forget those eyes, those topaz eyes.
I wanted to hate him. I did everything I could to hate him. But as he fixed up my hand, offered me his coffee and made small talk I simply couldn’t do it. We hit it off, seriously.
I fell in love with him. But this was different. So different. Dr. Eleazar Brun. I know that I can never love anyone as I have loved him. I will never stop loving him. Hopefully I will also never have a reason to try. We had a few good months, but other then him, my life was getting kind of boring. So, I made the worst mistake of my life. I left.
To California with out a word. I had never done anything bad before. I’ve always been a good kid, never drank, never done drugs, never skipped school. So I knew this was it. I wanted to become an actress so where better to go?
For a while, I loved it. Things were perfect, until I noticed the pain deep in my chest. I could never shake the feeling of missing some thing, some one. I stayed for a month before I simply could not longer stand it. So, I went home.
I hadn’t a clue where to go and I wasn’t ready to face my parents yet. That would just be too hard. So, I went to the only place I could think of. Eleazar’s house.
Seeing him the way he was had killed my heart. I had done wrong, I had hurt him. I was...evil. I couldn’t bear it. There was a part of my that didn’t want him to forgive me. I didn’t want him to love me. I wanted him to have better. But he didn’t. He forgave me, something I could never make up. Since then, its been a rebuilding experience. Putting the pieces of our relationship back together.
As soon as things were okay, he invited me to France. Did I forget to mention that he’s French? The most beautiful fact in the world. A few days now and we will be on that plane together, on our way to France. I can’t wait. This will be the best experience. I can not wait.
But, something happened. Something good. We had been discussing things for a while. Taking our relationship to the next level was something we both wanted. But he kept telling me about the dangers. I was afraid it wasn’t going to happen. The opportunity had presented itself. My parents are gone for a few days. Not that they needed to be gone, it just would make things better, in my mind.
To my surprise, after he said no, he left for a while to do a few things and came back smiling. Those words... “I’m ready if you’re ready”. They will never leave my mind. Of course, things went well. Fantastically well.
This all happened, well, yesterday. I still can’t believe it. It has been one of the best things that has happened to me. Of course, I’m bruised and very sore, but I’m playing like no big deal. It really isn’t. I can handle being sore. I don’t mind it too much. And I don’t want to worry him, that would be horrible.
So where do I stand now? I have the best boyfriend in the world. I’m 18 and about to graduate. In less then a week, I’m being taken to France. All that depression that plagued my life is gone. I’m filled with happiness, joy, love...I can’t even begin to explain.
I guess that’s all my story for now. I just wish that I could get inside his head. Get to what he’s thinking. Learn his secrets. I’ll work on that. I’ll write more soon. I’m sure more will happen. My life has only just begun.
Yours Truly,
Anne
-OOC: I'll have to re-read this later, and edit what is bad. haha My eyes hurt-
