Post by Rowen Marline on Jan 17, 2011 21:08:50 GMT -4
Dearest Journal,
102, that's how old I am right now. Do I feel that old? No, how could I? I have the body of a rambunctious teenager. Three years ago I moved to Fork's Washington. It was an odd decision on my part. I'd lived as a nomad before. It was hard for me to settle anywhere longer then a month or two. But here...everything is so different. The personalities, conflicts, life. I love it all so much. In the three years I've lived in this little town more has happened to me in any of the other 99 years of my existence.
I guess the beginning is a good place to start. At least, when I first decided to settle down. I had heard rumors of the Cullen's, the Olympic Coven. They're lifestyle intrigued me. I had been a "vegetarian vampire" before, but I was good a slipping up. It happened often and it really weighed on my conscience. From the moment I moved here, I knew a slip up would never happen again.
The first then I did when I moved in to my new house was contact the Cullen's. I was surprised at how welcoming they were. I became a family friend quickly. And soon after that, I was best friend with Bella Swan, Edward Cullen's human mate. It was an odd situation but I never minded it.
I posed as a high school senior, giving me a bit more time to blend in. I made human friends, as well as others. Yes, vampires, but here is where things get even more interesting. Werewolves. I made friends with my sworn enemy. But it was nice, even with the practically toxic smell.
I fell in love with a vampire (Tom), but things didn't work out and we both moved on. That was when I met him. My vampire soul mate. There was never a question about it. Shen. I loved him with all of my heart, still do. We made a house, a life, and we were to marry. It was all going to be so perfect. He told me he loved me, and I loved him so I never questioned it. And then, just days before the wedding, he was gone. Poof. He left me. Why, I don't know.
I've tried my best to move on, but once he left I feel into deep-vampiric-depression (dvd XD). I couldn't move, feel emotion, breath, eat, nothing. I was more stone then I ever had been. Until River, my best friend and twin, pulled me out of it. I thank her to this day, though my depression has never really gone away. It's manageable now, which is all that counts.
This was when things went just a little crazy. Tom was back, I found out. He had been kidnapped, starved. I risked my life to save him. He died. He was gone forever and nothing could change that. I was held back by a close werewolf friend, Allister. With out him, I would died, too.
After all of this I really just wanted to die myself. But I couldn't. I had to protect River. We left for a while, a little trip away from home. When I was sure it was all safe, we came back. Shortly after that, I left again, alone. I couldn't piece myself back together. I couldn't manage to become whole again.
Just recently, I realized that what I needed, was home. So this is where I am now. Posing as a 20 year old. Settled back in to my old house, my old ways of living.
Everything is so different after six months. So many new people, so many old memories. I went to the beach. There I saw Arick. Arick of all people! I was happy to see him, so happy. We sat in the sand a talked a bit. I invited him and River over for dinner. I was desperate for company. We talked about how we both traveled a little bit...and then...something strange happened.
Our eyes met, almost in slow motion. The feeling...it was spectacular. I could never describe it, though, no matter how hard I try. I just want it back.
This isn't everything that happened, sometimes I push certain memories aside. I'll change it if I remember something else. So many people I left out, but that doesn't mean that they aren't important. I'm just trying to move on right now. It was suggested that I try writing in a journal. This was I can track how I feel and get all of those unspoken words an emotions down on paper. I guess that's all for this time.
102, that's how old I am right now. Do I feel that old? No, how could I? I have the body of a rambunctious teenager. Three years ago I moved to Fork's Washington. It was an odd decision on my part. I'd lived as a nomad before. It was hard for me to settle anywhere longer then a month or two. But here...everything is so different. The personalities, conflicts, life. I love it all so much. In the three years I've lived in this little town more has happened to me in any of the other 99 years of my existence.
I guess the beginning is a good place to start. At least, when I first decided to settle down. I had heard rumors of the Cullen's, the Olympic Coven. They're lifestyle intrigued me. I had been a "vegetarian vampire" before, but I was good a slipping up. It happened often and it really weighed on my conscience. From the moment I moved here, I knew a slip up would never happen again.
The first then I did when I moved in to my new house was contact the Cullen's. I was surprised at how welcoming they were. I became a family friend quickly. And soon after that, I was best friend with Bella Swan, Edward Cullen's human mate. It was an odd situation but I never minded it.
I posed as a high school senior, giving me a bit more time to blend in. I made human friends, as well as others. Yes, vampires, but here is where things get even more interesting. Werewolves. I made friends with my sworn enemy. But it was nice, even with the practically toxic smell.
I fell in love with a vampire (Tom), but things didn't work out and we both moved on. That was when I met him. My vampire soul mate. There was never a question about it. Shen. I loved him with all of my heart, still do. We made a house, a life, and we were to marry. It was all going to be so perfect. He told me he loved me, and I loved him so I never questioned it. And then, just days before the wedding, he was gone. Poof. He left me. Why, I don't know.
I've tried my best to move on, but once he left I feel into deep-vampiric-depression (dvd XD). I couldn't move, feel emotion, breath, eat, nothing. I was more stone then I ever had been. Until River, my best friend and twin, pulled me out of it. I thank her to this day, though my depression has never really gone away. It's manageable now, which is all that counts.
This was when things went just a little crazy. Tom was back, I found out. He had been kidnapped, starved. I risked my life to save him. He died. He was gone forever and nothing could change that. I was held back by a close werewolf friend, Allister. With out him, I would died, too.
After all of this I really just wanted to die myself. But I couldn't. I had to protect River. We left for a while, a little trip away from home. When I was sure it was all safe, we came back. Shortly after that, I left again, alone. I couldn't piece myself back together. I couldn't manage to become whole again.
Just recently, I realized that what I needed, was home. So this is where I am now. Posing as a 20 year old. Settled back in to my old house, my old ways of living.
Everything is so different after six months. So many new people, so many old memories. I went to the beach. There I saw Arick. Arick of all people! I was happy to see him, so happy. We sat in the sand a talked a bit. I invited him and River over for dinner. I was desperate for company. We talked about how we both traveled a little bit...and then...something strange happened.
Our eyes met, almost in slow motion. The feeling...it was spectacular. I could never describe it, though, no matter how hard I try. I just want it back.
This isn't everything that happened, sometimes I push certain memories aside. I'll change it if I remember something else. So many people I left out, but that doesn't mean that they aren't important. I'm just trying to move on right now. It was suggested that I try writing in a journal. This was I can track how I feel and get all of those unspoken words an emotions down on paper. I guess that's all for this time.
I'll try to keep it up!