Remember me... (Closed)

[Nate Hobbes]

Doctor Cullen says you have amnesia. And that there's a chance that you won't remember me for a long time... I can't accept that, Jaelle. I need you to remember. There are 19 years and three months stored up somewhere in your brain and I need to find the key to access them. All you know about me now is I'm moody and tempermental. You don't remember me and what we had. You and I really are two halves of one whole... I need you to know the real me. I need you to remember me so I can try and remember myself.

Nate

PS: Chances are, I'll never give you these letters. Doc Cullen said it'd be best if you remembered naturally. And your dumb boyfriend Sarge agrees. How can you and him be so natural and right together now? Yet you and I, who have all this history are distant? Estranged? Easy - you don't know me anymore.

[Nate Hobbes]

I don't remember this, there's no way I could. But my mom wrote a letter to her sister about you and I. She said when you saw me for the first time in my hospital crib, your eyes lit up. You were, what, six or seven months old? My mom referenced the situation as this:

I'm glad Emily got to see Nate yesterday. I hope they are close. He is quite the ladies man, you know? When Jaelle (you remember Jaelle, the McCloud's only daughter) saw him today, her eyes went wide. She's a tiny thing, but so much of her was captivated by my little bundle of joy. She looked at him like he was a new toy, and he belonged to her. Crazy, right? Jaelle may never have a brother or sister, and Bill is perfectly content with one kid. I'm hoping these two kids never lose what they found today. Nate won't remember it, and Jaelle's much too young, too. But there's something there with them. Something good.

I hope we find that again. I'm not just some shmuck who's bitter and mad all the time, you know? I just don't know how to show you otherwise when I'm so frustrated with everything. Things I can't even rant about now because you don't know the history anymore. Come back to me, Bird.

[Nate Hobbes]

It's been 10 days since the hospital let you come home. In those ten days, I have barely been able to stand it. The look in your eyes is detached. It doesn't belong to my Jaelle, it belongs to this new girl who knows nothing about who she really is. But they light up when Kurt walks into the room. I try to avoid those times. Today, I thought I saw a glimpse of the way you used to look at me. I thought I saw some look in your eyes I recognized... But I realized Kurt was in the dining room with my dad like ten minutes later. I hope one day you'll phase again. If that comes back to you, maybe you can see through Iz's eyes or Sage's the bond you and I shared. Closer than siblings. I think I can almost see my dad's heart breaking every time you ask him what his name is. It's almost comforting to know it's hard on someone else. I love you. Come back to me, bird.

[Nate Hobbes]

Pete is driving me crazy. He's just sneaking his way back into your life. I don't know how it's so easy for him to start from scratch, but I'm glad one of us can. I think what happened at the hospital that day makes me nervous to try and get close. You must think I'm crazy. I'm sorry I flipped. I wonder if Kurt will ever understand just where I was coming from. Maybe then he could explain it to me. I bet he's secretly a Psychologist, too. One more thing he's better at than me, right? I'm venting to paper. Paper you'll never read. I thought it'd help, but it just leaves me feeling a little more bitter. I think I'm going to call Leah. She doesn't seem to mind the moodiness. Then again, she can't really complain. Edward Cullen asked me if you were okay. I like him enough, but I wish he'd stay out of my head. He doesn't need to hear this internal war. I love you. Come back to me, bird.

[Nate Hobbes]

Jaelle.

You remembered mom today. It makes sense, really. She has 20 years of memories tied up with you. Maybe I'll be soon. I just hope you remember the good things. The times that you and I would play baseball, or go out for icecream. The times that we would sleep in my bed and sing silly lullabies to each other. I hope you remember the times that we would stay up all night talking and just being there for each other. If I could pick and choose what you remember: I would choose that you'd skip over the times I wasn't there for you. You'd forget that I stormed out on you. You'd forget that I ever let you leave with Arick. That I ever trusted him to take care of you. You'd forget that I became so selfish, that I became so bitter. You'd remember the happier times where we were carefree and we just swam in our dumb little secret spot. But, you may never remember anything about me. If I had to choose: you'd remember the shitty stuff, just so you'd remember me.

[Nate Hobbes]

Bird

Things are getting crazy. I can't do this without you. I feel like I'm pulling myself away from Sage because that's the only way I know how to deal with things. I become a recluse. I don't deal with it, I let it fester and putrify; whatever IT is. But you've always been there to pull me out of my self-imposed isolation. Who's going to be there this time? No one else knows how. Sage will try, I'm sure... But I can't let her. She can't deal with my back-lash like you can. She can't deal with the bitchy angsty Nate like you can. I hope she surprises me, like always. I need someone, I'm just too damned stubborn to admit it. I love you and I always have. Just when I let myself move on and be happy for real with someone else: I lose you. I never thought I'd lose you like this.
I never wanted this.
Remember me... Please.

[EllRigh]

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