So

[Brendan L'amour]

So you know how my brain works. I analyze and analyze and over-analyze everything. If it's not logical, if it's emotional, I try my best to make it logical. I've seriously been thinking about this every second after my Lit Exam (which I rocked, by the way.) When I tried to call you the prettiest girl in Washington, it sounded like maybe you were alluding to the idea that Katie was that girl. Which is completely un-based and kinda crazy, Rea.

Okay, so here's where the logic tries to crawl in and just go with me.

I'm sure you've heard of 'confirmation bias.' It's where we come up with this ... idea in our minds and then we start to look for things to prove that what we came up with is right. When we have this idea, we will actively seek things which will confirm our idea. We will also avoid things which will dis-confirm this.

So : I'm thinking somewhere you came up with this idea that Katie is ... more attractive than you? Which is complete bull shit, by the way. And so instead of listening to me when I call you pretty or focusing on the attention I try to pour on you when we actually get to see each other, you zoom in on those few moments where Katie's around.

And so, here it is, written down for the world to see:

Reagan Harper is the prettiest girl in the State of Washington. Nay, in the United States of America. Nay. Dare I say it? The world.

So don't let the blondeness get you down. You mean more to me than any blonde ever will.
I love you babe.

[Reagan Harper]

Brendan,

Do you remember this?

This is one of the first pictures of us together that I have. Peter had just gotten his camera earlier that summer, and it never left his side. He and I were waiting for Nate after his football practice, and he was being unusually slow getting ready that day. This is back when I swore I detested you, but I think Nate could see that there was something more, thus taking his time in the damn locker room (and I bet he was macing on Julia, but don't let him know I said that). The look on my face makes me laugh now, and so does your hair- Mr. Shagmiester . You were so persistent with me Bren; you never gave up on the chance to try to talk to me. That caused me to start thinking about you more, seeing you more than the cocky and slightly arrogant football guy. It came off as unusual to me that you were trying to talk to me, some girl from the Rez, instead of the pretty cheerleaders who were kinda obsessed with you and the team. Do you remember Sandra Trickmen? Ha.

I’ve always had feelings for you Brendan, even though they changed a lot since the time this picture was taken. Looking at where we are now, it’s kinda crazy to me to look at this photo to see it was only about a year ago since it was taken. Only a year ago since you decided to give a girl who felt completely not- good- enough a chance. So thank you for that.

I’m not sure if there’s really a point to this letter, but I just want you to know that I love you and that you mean more than the world to me. You’ve changed my life, and you’ve changed me. I know I have a lot of growing to do, but I’m excited to do it with you- the man that I am completely in love with.

I know I make a lot of mistakes, and as patient as you are- I know it can run it thin. I wish I could just fill this letter with ‘I’m sorry’ from the front of this paper to the very back, but saying it can only do so much. I just hope my actions are trying to show that I am. Running away, the whole Katie thing.. it was stupid.

Anyway, I need to get going. I just rocked my own science midterm, and Mdot is on his way to pick me up. He’s letting me watch Alana and him dance today at the studio down by the Rez. I’ll make sure to text you later, after Mdot swings by your place and I put this in your mailbox.

You have my heart, Brendan. Thank you for taking such good care of it.

I love you,

-Reagan, the prettiest girl in the World who’s dating the most handsome man… in Forks. Just kidding . *The world.